SPACE BARLEY! (What a crock!)

I know I am going to take some flak for this, but you know what? Bring it on. I love many things about Japan and the Japanese, but there are some things about this place and these people that just leave me speechless. I don't claim to be an expert on Japanese culture or Japanese people, and anyone who does and is not Japanese is blowing smoke up your tailpipe. That being said, it's sound off time for The Good Beer Country Boys.

If you are into beer and Japanesie things, no doubt you have heard of Sapporo's SPACE BARLEY. It has just been unveiled and it's all over the internet. Now before you run out the door to try and find some of these galactic suds, stop. This beer is not going to be sold to the public and is available only to 30 couples who win a lottery and get to go to Tokyo to drink the stuff.

Here's the deal: A few years ago the cosmonauts started growing barley on the giant hunk of money sucking scrap floating around the earth which of course is called the International Space Station. The Russian Academy of Science and the Japanese (a university and Sapporo Brewing) teamed up and BAM! Space Barley was created! (Before I go on, I just want to point out that when I think of GOOD BEER the Russians and the Japanese are for sure the FIRST two names that come up. *)

So with barley decended from these "space grains", Sapporo has created a space brew using ONLY barley and yeast. One sight I read said that this beer will taste the same as regular Sapporo--but if the ingredients actually are just barley and yeast, there is no way that is possible. Anyways, we will wait for word on what this AMAZING** beer will taste like.***
OK, so what is the deal with the Japanese and things like this? Of course this beer will most likely taste like crap, and there's nothing spacey about it! The beer uses barley that was grown in space to make beer. This isn't space beer! This is like calling the baby of a man who has been in space a "Space Baby!" The beer wasn't made in space!

If you have been in Japan for any length of time, you know that the Japanese will pay STUPID amounts of money for crap that is A. a hoax or B. available cheaper everywhere else in the world. How can a single strawberry from Kyoto be worth $5? What about a square watermelon worth $120? Or how about the rock that you put in bath water that helps you lose weight? Only $20! Want to get in shape? How about buying Billy Blank's Tae-Bo workout tapes (Billy's Boot Camp) for about $200 a set? I think you can find these DVDs rotting in the $5 bin at every Wal-Mart in America. LA Dodgers hat? $25 bucks in any mall in the states. Japan-$60. Nuff said.

Sadly...this mindset has crept into beer as well. Space Barley? Please. Every major brewer's winter/fall/spring/summer beers? Please. Any beer that Yebisu makes? Please.

I feel so much better now... Ah. If you are out there and are tempted to pay a stupid amount of money for something clearly not worth it...remember what we have said here today. And if you do end up buying that $5 strawberry...just smile and say "OOIISHIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" like most Japanese do and pretend that it was worth it. You will fit right in.

* sarcasm added
**more sarcasm added
***But, if anyone from Sapporo is reading, I would like to taste the beer so please send me an invite--thanks.